Advice please...

Mrs. Davis · #1 07-19-2010

There is a midwife who lives one hour from me. She is pretty much the closest one I can work with. She has had me attend about 8 births with her in the last 2 years. This summer she asked me to attend two births with her here. I said I could but that there was one night I couldn't since our kids were throwing us a 25th anniv. party. Turns out the baby was born that night and my daughter ended up seeing it on facebook. (One of her friends is the brother of the baby that was born..) Anyway, the midwife never told me it was born! I emailed her and told her about the fbook status and asked if it was born and got no reply. I tend to not call her as she won't answer. Today I got an email asking me if I want to attend the prenatal appt. for the next baby! Oh yeah, and the other baby was born...

If my daughter had not seen that, I would have spent the week thinking I was on call. I'm just not sure how to handle this. I only know of one midwife in the area and I am not sure she takes students, I can't even get a hold of her on the phone.

busybusymomma · #2 07-19-2010

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs. Davis

Anyway, the midwife never told me it was born! I emailed her and told her about the fbook status and asked if it was born and got no reply. I tend to not call her as she won't answer. Today I got an email asking me if I want to attend the prenatal appt. for the next baby! Oh yeah, and the other baby was born...

I understand the occasional slip, esp during busy spells. However, if this is a pattern of not returning calls or communicating well then this may just be the way she operates. Have you in the past talked to her about these concerns? If not, I would... even if it means you have to email her to do so. Ask her the best way to communicate... it might be text, facebook or email.

The on-call life can be demanding enough... there is no sense in your considering yourself on-call if the baby is already out!

AdirondackBirthcraft · #3 07-21-2010

Y'know... I've had to just have courage and communicate clearly; state my observations and needs in order to work effectively with my teacher. I expect the same from her.

I am going to tell you right now, that clear and truthful communication is the cornerstone of my work with my teacher. I didn't have that many years ago with my first teacher... so I am making sure I have it this time. Makes all the difference in the world.

I encourage you to reach out and respectfully and truthfully and clearly talk to her.

She's a human being like you.

Mrs. Davis · #4 07-21-2010

Shortly after I wrote asking for advice, I did email her and nicely tell her that with a busy family it is important that I know when I am on call and not on call so I can plan things accordingly. She very graciously apologized. I am hoping that it was just a slip because she is busy. It is easy for that to happen. Thanks for the wisdom ladies!

636Jen · #5 07-21-2010

I second what Joyce said. Communication is SO key in this line of work. So is organization for that matter! Working with a midwife who has her act together is much nicer than not knowing your place.

I'm glad you got some answers. Just remember that you're an apprentice and a student....not a doormat!

Good luck !

hotwings640 · #6 07-25-2010

I am so glad you let her know the problem and worked it out, it would be horrible for a relationship to disolve due to a misunderstanding or a mishap. I wouldn't be surprised if it was a simple slip of forgetting that she had you oncall for that birth. At the same time, it is so important for you to know when you are offcall!